1. Cena will FINALLY turn heel. It will be a major disappointment to us all. Mr. T. will start managing John Cena. Cena will change the name of the STF to the IPTF – I Pity The Fool.

2. Vince McMahon will reveal that, as a second generation superstar himself, he’s been running Legacy all along. Orton faked kicking him in the head, which we can CLEARLY see from the video, in order to fire up Shane and Stephanie to get them to care a little more about what it means to be third generation superstars.

3. It will be revealed that Chris Jericho actually IS a legend in his own right and he will experience a subsequent mental breakdown, as he comes to grips with the fact that he’s no longer the new kid on the block, but has, in fact, been wrestling just as long as some of the so called legends he’s been trying to put down.

4. Christian will make his long awaited return to the WWE.

5. It will be revealed that Christian secretly returned to WWE at some point before Wrestlemania.

6. In a stunning move, Tommy Dreamer will actually get his storyline back leading to him getting a shot to get the ECW title or possibly retire. In the final seconds of the match, Paul Heyman will return, costing Tommy his shot at the title. Paul E will then destroy the fake ECW title of the fake ECW and issue a challenge for the return of the REAL ECW. The storyline will be dropped two weeks later and will never be mentioned on television again. That is the last we will see of Tommy Dreamer.

7. Santino Marella will attempt to become Women’s Champion. When he fails, he will go to Smackdown and compete for the Diva’s Championship. Whether he wins or not, he will be fired and make his way to TNA, where he will also be ignored.

8. Jack Thwagger will be drafted to THmackdown where he will come up againtht a returning Mr. Kennedy. Kennedy will make fun of Thwagger’th ridiculouth uthe of the name “The All-American American.” Kennedy will thay, “You’re jutht repeating yourthelf, there thon.” Thwagger will point out that Kennedy doeth the thame. Kennedy will take offenthe to thith thtatement and the thhit will hit the fan. They will blow off their feud in a betht two out of three match, proving you have to do everything twice for it to really theem important.

9. This year’s draft will include a fourth drafting spot – The Unemployment Line. We will still get to see wrestler’s reactions live.

10. Matt Hardy will reveal that not only did he attack Jeff on a stairwell, burn his house to the ground, kill Jeff’s dog, and do drugs for weeks before pissing in Jeff’s piss test cup and getting him suspended before Wrestlemania XXIV, but he also humped Jeff’s first girlfriend, let all the air out of his bike tire when Jeff was 11, poked needles through Jeff’s condoms in high school, put saran wrap on Jeff’s toilet on April Fool’s Day, put shaving cream on Jeff’s hand and tickled his face while he was sleeping and he was the one blew up that picture of Jeff in the bathtub when he was three and hung it all over their high school. Matt will also reveal that their dead mother loved Matt more than Jeff and that Jeff was an “oops” baby.

]]> http://wrestlingwithwords.wordpress.com/2009/03/05/my-top-ten-predictions-for-a-post-wrestlemania-wwe/feed/ 1 James Sabata http://wrestlingwithwords.wordpress.com/2009/02/18/not-so-breaking-news-christian-returns-with-the-swagger-of-a-champion/ http://wrestlingwithwords.wordpress.com/2009/02/18/not-so-breaking-news-christian-returns-with-the-swagger-of-a-champion/#comments Wed, 18 Feb 2009 19:20:17 +0000 jamessabata http://wrestlingwithwords.wordpress.com/?p=227 ]]>

Latht Tuethday thaw the return of Captain Charithma! Gone from wrethtling for the patht three yearth, doing who knowth what, probably thitting at home watching the kidth or thomething, Chrithtian thurprithed the hell out of me with hith long awaited return. The look on Jack Thwagger’th fathe wath thuper. Jack can act with the betht of them and until latht Tuethday, I wath glad to thee the title around hith thhoulder. But now, I’m jutht picturing Chrithtian hitting the Unprettier on The All American American and becoming ECW champion. I can’t think of a better way for Chrithtian to return to hith old thtomping groundth. What a great thtoryline. After the No Way Out match between Finley and Thwagger, I wath really expecting a Charithmatic promo… but I didn’t get one. But it wath ok, becauthe thith week on ECW, Chrithtian wath back with help from Finley and Hornthwoggle. I wath glad that Chrithtian reminded Hornthwoggle not to dithtract them, becauthe that little bathtard theemth to cauthe a lot of problemth, but more tho, I wath jutht glad to thee Chrithtian on the mic again. Hith mic thkillth are top notch in ECW and make the thhow for me. I can’t wait to thee where thith angle ith going, but I’m really glad he’th on ECW inthtead of being involved in that brouhaha that Matt and Jeff are going through.

All set to buy No Way Out and like an idiot I make a post about how you should just have Christian return already and I find out you already had him return.  But I don’t feel dumb at all.  Why?  Because you brought him back on Tuesday.  You guys don’t have a show on Tuesday that I know about.  People are calling it ECW.

I tell them ” That’s silly.  ECW was just a federation that WWE absorbed.  What is the name of the show?”

“ECW” they say.

And I call bullshit and ask what the hell happened then and they say he shit on the ECW champ Jack Swagger.  So I say “oh you mean the guy that only appears on pay-per-views.”  Then they called me an asshole.

Is this a joke guys?  I’m almost starting to think this is a real show but I’m not going to set aside time on Tuesday night to find out I’m being screwed with.  Ah well.  Maybe I’ll see Christian at No Way Out since it will be the one time this month Jack Swagger is on television.

I ordered a pizza with extra peeparooni the night of the Royal Rumble and that shit STILL hasn’t been delivered.  In case you lost what you needed to make No Way Out relevant for us peeps here is something for the titantron.  Just give me a call if you need help saving it to your compy.  I can send you a program where you can save it as an FLV or something like that and have this thing ready for the next PPV.

And if you need me to pitch in on pyro just let me know. I promise I will act surprised when you deliver.

Offical Entries (as of right now): 

1. Triple H

2. The Big Show

3. Vladimir Kozlov

4. Shelton Benjamin

5. The Undertaker

6. Randy Orton

7. Rey Mysterio

8. Kofi Kingston

9. The Miz

10. John Morrison

11. Kane

12. Ted DiBiase

13. Cody Rhodes

14. Santino Marella

15. R-Truth

16. The Brian Kendrick

17. Carlito

18. CM Punk

19. Finlay

20. Mark Henry

21. Chris Jericho

22. Chavo Guerrero

23. Great Khali

Official Matches:

Jack Swagger vs Matt Hardy (for the ECW Championship)

Beth Phoenix vs Melina  (the WWE Woman’s Championship)

Jeff Hardy vs Edge (for the WWE Championship)

John Cena vs JBL w/ Shawn Michaels (for the World Heavyweight Championship)

Predictions:

Jack Swagger vs Matt Hardy

Matt Hardy wins his title back. I am having a hard time caring about this match. Honestly I don’t care who wins out of these two. Matt being ECW champ is just not exciting. His brother had the world title a bit ago. ECW title? Nice to see on a good midcard wrestler or up and comer, unless his name is Jack Swagger. Please give this guy a gimmick or a good script. I can’t handle any more Kool-Aid smiles without a storyline. Give him a manager or something. Anyways, I’m going to be getting my food ready during this match. Finishing up some party mix, maybe throwing in some tater tot casserole, might make some white chili dip – I don’t know, might make more since the next match is…

Beth Phoenix vs Melina

Now I’m not going to shit on these two. I think both of these women are top notch as far as the divas go. The problem is that with some of the talentless women this strap has been given to I really have a hard time giving a shit about this match. To be honest that is mostly about Victoria retiring. I can not believe the E wasted her talent. Best of luck to Victoria, although it seems she is set for the future and doesn’t need it. On second thought, screw what I said earlier, like both of these women and glad they are in a title match, things have been worse in the past (still hoping Victoria’s retirement is a work and runs in and wrecks shop on these girls).

Jeff Hardy vs Edge

Now things get complicated. I honestly don’t know who to pick here. I also don’t know who I want to win. This has the potential to be a great match. Both superstars are going to bring it and depending on the rumble I really don’t know what is going to happen. Undertaker’s edict almost has me thinking he will be in Wrestlemania’s main event again. If that happens I don’t see him wrestling Edge again. Then again if Jeff wins I could see Trips winning the rumble with Jeff as champ and Trips as the challenger in a reversal of fortune, with Jeff taunting Trips the next couple of months. Jeff as a heel? Trips putting away that stupid ass sledgehammer? Might be nice. And what if Christian shows up to interfere in this match? Does Hardy lose? Does Christian surprise us and cost Edge the victory starting an excellent non-title feud going into Wrestlemania? I really don’t know who to pick. My head hurts.

John Cena vs JBL w/ Shawn Michaels

No way John Cena loses this. As this might be the last match before the rumble I think we see a resolution to the whole HBK butler storyline. HBK sabotages JBL and becomes an entrant in the rumble! Mr. Wrestlemanina is going to – hopefully keep JBL out of Wrestlemania! Seriously if Cena loses this match, the butler shit continues, and JBL ends up in the Wrestlemania main event I swear to you that Vince Mcmahon’s limo is going to blow up for real.

The Royal Rumble

7 entrants have not been named yet. Wrestlers almost certainly going to be there that aren’t named are Mr. Kennedy, MVP, and I will go out on a limb and say HBK.  Other wrestlers that may be in are Mike Knox (going to come in and eliminate Rey Mysterio just to be a dick)  and Tommy Dreamer (wants that ECW championship). That leaves two wrestlers. I predict one will be Stone Cold Steve Haastin – Haas dressed as the mas that has one the most rumbles in history. =(   And seriously, the other wrestler just might be Christian. On a realistic note Umaga will be in his place.

Now who is going to win the rumble? What is my top five list? Half realistic, and half markistic, I think the top five possibilities are Mr. Kennedy, MVP, Undertaker, HBK, Triple H, and Randy Orton.Shit, that’s six picks, but honestly that is okay with me. I would not want to be certain. Uncertainty is the reason I love the rumble. The realist in me says it will be Undertaker or Trips. The mark in me says it will be HBK (you know he’ll put everything into that match), MVP (loving the movement, great face turn in the making), or wait for it, wait for it,  MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISTEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR  KENNEDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KENN-EEE-DYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I won’t say who I really want to win though. =P

WWE Championship Match
- Triple H (c) vs. Fans Chose Opponent

Text JEFF to 44993 for Jeff Hardy
Text KOZLOV to 44993 for Vladimir Kozlov
Text TRIPLE to 44993 for a Triple Threat Match featuring Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Fans will choose Jeff Hardy. Kozlov will still be involved and ruin Jeff’s chances. He’ll be seconds away from the belt again.

Intercontinental Championship Match
- Santino Marella (c) vs. A WWE Legend
Fans Pick The WWE Legend

Text PIPER to 44993 for “Rowdy” Roddy Pipper
Text GOLDUST to 44993 for Goldust
Text HONKY to 44993 for Honky Tonk Man

Fans will choose Goldust. At least I do. Piper will actually wrestle. I don’t see anyone else doing it. James the Sabata seems to think the Haasy Tonk Man will be wrestling.

World Heavyweight Championship Match
- Chris Jericho (c) vs. Batista
Fans Pick The Referee

Text ORTON to 44993 for Rand Orton
Text AUSTIN to 44993 for “Stone Cold” Steve Austin
Text HBK to 44993 for Shawn Michaels

You know some assholes voted for Orton. Stone Cold is going to be guest ref though. Really don’t understand how he’ll be used though. Don’t see him helping the heel and don’t see Batista getting the belt at Cyber Sunday. Jericho will squeak through somehow.

- Undertaker vs. Big Show
Vote online: Knockout Match
Vote online: I Quit Match
Vote online: Last Man Standing Match

I’ll bet fans vote for Last Man Standing. We will see Undertaker sit up like someone put his hand in warm water around 3 or 4 times and he’ll put big show down with a sad looking chokeslam or something. I really hope so anyways, I DO NOT WANT AN “I QUIT MATCH” WHERE TAKER WINS BY SUBMISSION.

- Rey Mysterio vs. Kane
The fans will be able to vote for the stipulation of the match. Here are the choices:

Text A to 44993 for Falls Count Anywhere Match
Text B to 44993 for No Holds Barred Match
Text C to 44993 for Best 2-out-of-3 Falls Match

No Holds Barred Match (I cheated, it already started) I really don’t understand this feud. I’m guessing Kane will win in some horrible beat-down and we’ll actually have a reason for a feud.

-

Divas Halloween Costume Contest
The fans will be able to log on to the official WWE website during the PPV to determine the winner.

……….

ECW Championship match
- Matt Hardy (c) vs. Fans Choose Opponent

Text HENRY to 44993 for Mark Henry
Text EVAN to 44993 for Evan Bourne
Text FINLAY to 44993 for Finlay

Fans vote for Evan Bourne. Face vs Face. And they’re going to piss me off by having Bourne lose cleanly and Hardy shaking his hand after he kicks his ass.

Pick The Tag Team Match
Fans Choose The Match

To vote for World Tag Team Champions Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase vs. CM Punk & Kofi Kingston, TEXT 1 to 44993
To vote for John Morrison & The Miz vs. Cryme Tyme, TEXT 2 to 44993
To vote for Jamie Noble & Mickie James vs. William Regal & Layla, TEXT 3 to 44993

John Morrison & The Miz vs. Cryme Tyme should get the vote. Even though WWE doesn’t even seem to care about tag teams , again, I do not see the belts changing hands. But someone has to lose tonight. Screw it, I’ll pick Cryme Tyme. Oh snap, I just realized the two best tag teams don’t have belts.

WWE United States Championship Match (Preview Match)
- Shelton Benjamin vs. Fans Chose Opponent

Fans can vote for the following opponents on the official WWE website:
R-Truth
MVP
Festus

Fans choose MVP. Conspiracy brothers everywhere upset with WWE rejoice. I really like Shelton as US champ but MVP is supposed to get a push. I don’t see that happening if he loses this match. It wouldn’t make sense. Here’s hoping it does make sense. MVP wins as both take turns cheating and the slickest guy wins.

TIME FOR AN UPDATE ON SANTINO’S REIGN

As of Monday, October 27, Santino The Marella has been Intercontinental champion for seventy-one days. That means that he is currently a longer reigning champion than all of the following: (Multiple times are in parenthesis).

Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat, The British Bulldog, Edge (5), Jeff Jarrett (6), Chyna (3), William Regal, Umaga(2), Val Venis (2), Ahmed Johnson, Christian (3), The Godfather, Kofi Kingston, Rob Van Dam (6), Chris Benoit(4), Chris Jericho(6), Shelton Benjamin (2), Triple H (4), Kane (2), Steve Austin (2), Eddie Guerrero, Owen Hart, Kurt Angle, Jeff Hardy (2), Booker T, Marc Mero, D’Lo Brown, Albert, Lance Storm, Marty Jannetty, Billy Gunn, Road Dogg, Goldust (2), Test, Johnny Nitro, Razor Ramon, and The Mountie.

In the coming week, Santino stands to pass the following champions: Chris Jericho (Tuesday) and Rocky Maivia (Friday).

Next Monday night, November 3, if Santino Marella is still champion, he will pass the greatest Intercontinental Champion ever —-  HIMSELF.

Stay tuned!

]]> http://wrestlingwithwords.wordpress.com/2008/10/17/the-greatest-champion-ever/feed/ 0 James Sabata http://wrestlingwithwords.wordpress.com/2008/10/05/predictions-no-mercy/ http://wrestlingwithwords.wordpress.com/2008/10/05/predictions-no-mercy/#comments Sun, 05 Oct 2008 21:05:13 +0000 jamessabata http://wrestlingwithwords.wordpress.com/?p=183 ]]>

Well, since we apparently only update like The Undertaker wrestles — Once a Month — I thought it was time I throw out my predictions for the ppv that takes place in three little hours – NO MERCY.

I’m not going to do the What will happen, what should… blah blah blah.  No, this time, it’s just my picks and why, because damn it, I have a paper due tomorrow.

Here we go:

BIG SHOW V. THE VACATION-TAKER… I mean, UNDERTAKER

Big show has to go over in this match.  Taker’s knees are messed up.  On top of that, it simply doesn’t make sense for Big Show not to go over after the build up of this feud.  This will not be the last time these two face each other.  I’m really hoping Edge does not return during this match, but it certainly would not surprise me.  I just think that whole angle is played out and should be done with.  Still, I could easily see both Chavo and Edge getting involved in this one, leading to their big feud.  We’ll see.

MY PICK:  BIG SHOW

ECW CHAMPIONSHIP: MARK HENRY V. MATT HARDY

I believe that Matt Hardy needs to keep the title here in order for him to truly solidify himself as the holder of this meaningless title.  I really wish he hadn’t won it to begin with, as I believe Henry should have continued to be pushed as a massive heel monster until Hardy was finally able to brind him down.  Still, it didn’t happen, so Matt should NOT drop the title here.  Otherwise, his reign was a fluke, and I shouldn’t have to buy him as a champion at all.

MY PICK:  MATT HARDY

WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP: BETH PHOENIX V. CANDICE MICHELLE

Beth has to win this.  Candice’s in ring work has been horrible since her return.  Beth needs the title to keep Glammerella looking as good as the do.  No contest.  Beth wins in convincing style.

MY PICK:  BETH PHOENIX

JBL V. BATISTA – NUMBER ONE CONTENDER’S MATCH

Since, as you will soon read, I believe Chris Jericho is going over tonight, that means a face has to win this match.  Although, technically, since the match between the winners will be at Cyber Sunday, it’s not completely unreasonable to think Vince might pulla  fast one on us…  Still, Batista wins this one.  I have literally no interest in this match or it’s “buildup,” but I hope they prove me wrong and put on a match I enjoy.  That being said:

MY PICK: BATISTA

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP – CHRIS JERICHO V. SHAWN MICHAELS

I am apparently the only person online who is not a fan of this storyline.  I hate it.  I think it’s a waste.  I think Jericho should be facing CM Punk, but that’s just me.  That being said, I see Cade coming out to take out Shawn, Jericho gets the win.  Still, this match should be down right awesome.  The last ladder match I loved involved Jericho pinning “his opponent” under the ladder.  I want to see some creativity like that tonight.  This is the match I’m most looking forward to, even though I don’t see how Michaels can possibly come out with the win, unless they use it to turn Batista heel, but I just don’t see that happening yet.

MY PICK:  CHRIS JERICHO

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP – JEFF HARDY V. HHH

There is no way HHH is leaving without his title tonight.  Still, i think Jeff gets the win here.  What I mean by that is that Jeff is going to be within seconds (YET AGAIN) of his title reign when Vladimir Koslov will cost him the title.  Jeff gets the win, but no title.

MY PICK:  JEFF HARDY

Finally:

MASK V. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING MATCH – REY MYSTERIO V. KANE

Kane is winning this.  There is no point to the stipulation if he doesn’t.  But it’s HOW he’s winning that will make this all worth while.  Kane is going to be killing Rey.   Just beating the fuck out of him, to the point that Rey’s good friend Evan Bourne will not be able to help but get involved.  Evan will attack Kane, giving Kane the win by DQ.  This will force Rey to unmask.  Rey will then go ballistic, and attack Evan Bourne, leading to the first feud I’ve cared about being Cruiserweights in a really long time.

MY PICK:  KANE

There you have it, boys and girls.  My picks.  Feel free to post yours.  I’d love to hear them.

UNFORGIVEN 2008

THE DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP – MARYSE V. MICHELLE MCCOOL

Build Up: Vince McMahon thinks we want to see hot blondes roll around together, but misunderstands the concept of a porn video and thinks we want to see it in the ring over a worthless title people usually forget is even there.

What Should Happen: Vince should pull his head out of his ass. If you’re going to put a women’s title on the line, put the real one on the line and let Mickie get a shot at Beth’s title.

What Will Happen: McCool will win it. No one will care.

WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP – CRYME TYME V. CODY RHODES/TED DIABIASE

Build Up: After an eternity of being kept off of pay per views, Cryme Tyme finally gets their shot at the titles. They stole the titles, which plays into their characters and seems like something they should have done long ago, but the writers only recently got it. Then, Generation Next got the titles back.

What Should Happen: Vince should hire more tag teams and make me care that there’s a tag division. They have TWO tag teams, and only one has a name. Why are they not “Generation Next” or “The Juniors” or “Priceless” or “Do You Know Who My Daddy Is?” or something by now? In a perfect world, Cryme Tyme loses. This feud seems worthless to me if Cryme Tyme gains the belts right away.

What Will Happen: The Priceless Generation will retain their titles with their finisher… Oh, wait, they don’t have one. Cryme Tyme will get more shots. Orton will eventually join to take over as their mouth piece… They will continue to look for a mouth piece.

UNSANCTIONED MATCH – JERICHO V. SHAWN MICHAELS

Build Up: Craziness. Everything from Shawn supposedly faking an injury in his match with Batista to being put through the Jerichotron and supposedly injuring his eye, to a thousand more supposed injuries to punching Rebecca in the face to Shawn retiring, to Jericho calling him out yet again, to Shawn REALLY getting injured.

What Should Happen: Jericho should win cleanly, proving he’s better than Shawn Michaels. This would lead to a massive heel push for Jericho, who would get the belt and entice Shawn to come back for “one last run with the belt.” At Mania, we would have a Shawn’s Career V. Jericho’s Title match, with Shawn losing at Wrestlemania and retiring.

What Will Happen: Jericho will lose, but go ballistic on Shawn, “injuring” Shawn’s arm. Jericho will be pushed, but it won’t be interesting. Shawn will be around forever…

ECW CHAMPIONSHIP – SCRAMBLE

Build Up: Everyone else had a scramble. Why not?

What Should Happen: Matt Hardy should come in first. Mark Henry should come in last. They should pin others with five seconds left and both get a pinfall at the end, resulting in no ECW Champion.

What Will Happen: Matt Hardy will come in first. Mark Henry will come in last. No one else will matter. Mark Henry will retain.

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP – SCRAMBLE

Buildup: Raw had a scramble. Why not?

What Should Happen: This is the title that should change hands. This is the perfect opportunity for Jeff Hardy or MVP to step up and become champion. That would solidify either of these two. However, MVP pissed some people off backstage, so I don’t see him coming out with it. Still, one of these titles needs to change hands, so why not this one? I think it’s the most likely to change, and the most believable.

What Will Happen: HHH retains. Vickie hands him to the Taker. Taker loses when Edge returns and costs him the title shot.

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP – SCRAMBLE

Buildup: This buildup has been great… other than Mysterio being thrown in at the last second. But what are you going to do? This is one of the longest buildups of a bunch of guys feuding for the title that I’ve seen in a long time. I love it.

What Should Happen: Punk should retain at the very end. Jericho should become his new heel opponent.

What Will Happen: Batista will walk out as champion and get the heel run that Cena should have had. So sad.

Well, like it or not, in four hours, WWE will start proving me wrong. I can’t say I’m overly excited, but I’ll be watching. Check back for my thoughts on the actual show.