AN OPEN LETTER TO VINCE MCMAHON

Dear Vincent Kennedy McMahon:

Apologies are in order.  I owe you one gigantic I’M SORRY.  Let me explain why:

A lot of the time, when I post on this site, I tag things ridiculously, because it’s funny to me.

I do these things solely for my own entertainment.

But it’s funny, because it’s what brings in a lot of the hits we get on this site–whether it’s from my tagging or Jackroller’s or even the occasional tag by Jabroni.  The thing is, WordPress allows us to see what people searched in order to come to the site.  It gives a detailed list of what someone typed into the search engine that led them to coming to our blog and reading our thoughts.

For some odd reason, the number one thing that brings people to this site is not our PPV predictions or are witty banter, it’s fucking Hornswoggle.  EVERY SINGLE DAY, someone searches for a “Hornswoggle Biography” and happens across the article I posted for St. Pat’s day.  Today, someone actually found our site thanks to the tag “World’s Sexiest Midget.”  I almost fell out of my chair laughing.

But it proved a little something to me.  I don’t know everything.

When Little Bastard started popping out from under the ring and attacking people, I was annoyed.

When he began Leprachaun Bombs off of step stools, I giggled, but I wasn’t a fan.

The best moment of Wrestlemania 23 was that I thought Horny was dead when he took Kennedy’s move off the ladder.

Making him the last Cruiserweight Champion was a joke.

The first time I ever liked him was the night he was revealed to be “your son.”  I don’t think I’ve ever laughed that hard at something in wrestling that didn’t involve a milk truck, but I digress.

I was FURIOUS the day your writers thought it would be a good idea to have Hornswoggle imitate the road runner by drawing a damned tunnel through the wall and escaping Carlito.

I couldn’t believe you built a match at Mania 24 around the “injuries” he sustained at the hands of JBL.

I’ll tell you, Vince, Dylan Postl was NOT my favorite wrestler.  I would say things like, “Who the hell wants to watch this shit?”  Or “Does Vince really think we like this crap?”  Or even “Too bad he’s not like a real Leprachaun.  He could grant my wish and go away.”

But now, sir, I apologize.

I have seen the errors of my way.

I see that I don’t know everything.

You really apparently do know what the fans want more than I ever will.  You saw the brilliance of Khali before I converted and you cashed in on a little bastard.

Well, you’ve proven yourself, Vince.  You have your pot of gold from this one.  I commend you.  I’d like to tell you that you’re insane, but the hits prove otherwise.

So, Vince, I’m sorry.

James Sabata

PS You still owe me royalties for my idea of hooking up Kane with the Hurricane.  I’m never going to let this go.

Tags: Kurt Angle, wwe, WWF, Wrestling, Carlito, Kane, Jabroni, Wrestlemania, Sports Entertainment, Lucky Charms, Hornswoggle, Dylan Postl, Little Bastard, Leprachaun, Cruiserweight, World's Sexiest Midget, illegitimate child, Horny, McMahon, Midget, Apology, Hurricane, royalties, sorry, hits, Khali, Road Runner, Jackroller, Wordpress, I can't believe I actually took the time to do this, Champion, Milk