It’s time for a bio, and given that it’s St. Patrick’s Day, I figured who better than the WWE’s resident leprechaun, Hornswoggle, the little Bastard himself!
Dylan Postl was born on May 29, 1986. He decided to go into wrestling, debuting in 2005 in NWA Wisconsin as “The World’s Sexiest Midget – Shortstack!” He competed in a match for their first ever X Division Championship and he won. He continued to work on his in ring ability and was able to sign with Vince McMahon and the WWE shortly before his 20th birthday. On May 26, 2006, Finlay had a match with Paul Burchill on Smackdown. After Finlay beat him, Postl crawled out from under the ring, dressed as a leprechaun, and jumped on Burchill. This went on for weeks. Michael Cole dubbed him the “Little Bastard.” Little Bastard started randomly attacking Finlay’s opponents. Finlay tried to stop him, often tackling him or shoving him back under the ring. Eventually, Finlay seemed to enjoy it, and Little Bastard would chuck Finlay his shillelagh, and Finlay would use it to lay out his opponent.
On March 2, 2007, Little Bastard’s name was officially changed to Hornswoggle. During a match between Finlay and Mr. Kennedy, Hornswoggle climbed a step ladder and delivered the “Lepreton Bomb,” a Swanton looking move onto Kennedy. To pay him back, at Wrestlemania 23, during my favorite part of the PPV, Mr. Kennedy hit a Green Bay Plunge on Hornswoggle from the ladder. For some reason, Kennedy apologized the following week on Smackdown, and they formed a team and became friends. I love WWE’s writing staff.
At the Cruiserweight Open at the Great American Bash, as the bell rang to start the match, Hornswoggle ran through the ring. It wasn’t until the ref counted his three fall at the end of the match that anyone realized he was actually a participant. He become the shortest and youngest person to ever hold the belt. He went on to feud with Jamie Noble, often winning by count or pure dumb luck.
On September 10, 2007, it was revealed the Hornswoggle was Vince McMahon’s illegitimate child. Vicki Guerrero made Hornswoggle surrender his title stating that his small stature and the fact that everyone hates Vince McMahon would be jeopardize his health and well being. Vince was unhappy to have Hornswoggle as his son, and began putting him in matches against people who were way bigger than him. Oh, Vince, the hilarity of your writing.
I’d like to skip the debacle known as the Royal Rumble 2008, but suffice it to say he hid under the ring, then came out and eliminated the Miz, and then Finlay came to save him and they ran away together. Anything more than that, and I’ll go into a coma trying to explain the RULES OF THE RUMBLE according to every other year…
You know, in all honesty, I wish I would have skipped all of 2008. Because the next big thing (no pun intended) in Hornswoggle’s career was his cage match with Vince McMahon. Of course, that never happened. Finlay interfered, then JBL handcuffed him, and proceeded to attempt to kill Hornswoggle. Blah. Don’t even get me started on the idiocy of everything that followed that. It was revealed that Horny isn’t Vince’s kid at all, but that he’s actually Fit Finlay’s son.
Yeah, it sucks, but that’s where the bio ends. We’re up to today, St. Patick’s Day, with Raw on the day of the Irish, it would make sense for something big to go down with this storyline. Of course, that might be asking too much.
Tags: biography, Blah, Cruiserweight, Dylan Postl, Finley, Great American Bash, Green Bay, Handcuffs, Hornswoggle, Horny, illegitimate child, Jamie Noble, Leprachaun, Little Bastard, Luck of the Irish, Lucky Charms, Mr. Kennedy, NWA, Paul Birchill, Pot of Gold, Royal Rumble, shillelagh, St. Patrick's Day, Under the ring, Vicki Guerrero, World's Sexiest Midget, Wrestlemania, Wrestlling, wwe, WWF, X Division
March 16, 2008 at 9:45 pm
At first I thought that fallaway slam on Hornswaggle into the cage killed him. I don’t know why but I thought he was supposed to be dead. I would have liked that honestly.