THE NEWEST DIRT SHEET

Is this really JUDGMENT DAY?

I thought I’d run through the Judgment Day card much like we did with the Mania card (and should have done with the Backlash card).

So far, there are only five announced matches, but if more become available, I will update this and put the new answers as well.

HHH V. RANDY ORTON - WWE Championship - Steel Cage Match

What should happen: HHH and Orton should be climbing out at the same time and the lights go out. When they come back on, they’re both on the ground, and no one knows who landed. Regal will take full credit for it, prompting a beat down from HHH and McMahon stripping Regal of his GM duties. This would lead to a feud between HHH and Regal.

What will happen: HHH will win and retain, probably using the crippler crossface.

Undertaker V. Edge - World Heavyweight Championship

What should happen: Edge should get the win, but it should not be a clean win.

What will happen: Taker will debut his all new MMA submission hold for the win.

The Miz & John Morrison V. CMPunk and Kane - WWE Tag Team Championships

What should happen: Miz and Morrison should be given actual opponents, building up a real tag team division.

What will happen: CMPunk and Kane will win, and CMPunk will become the number one contender for the ECW title, leading to Jabroni’s favorite storyline - whacky tag team champs who don’t like each other.

JBL V. John Cena

What should happen: Cena should get the win. JBL should go to Smackdown and be a WRESTLING GAAAAHD.

What will happen: JBL will somehow pull this out, and continue his amazing push.

Chris Jericho V. Shawn Michaels - Intercontinental Championship

What should happen: Shawn Michaels should be limping and go for the Sweet Chin Music, proving he’s been lying. Jericho should then be disqualified as he grabs a chair and beats Shawn’s knee into oblivion. Jericho retains and begins a program with Jeff Hardy. Shawn Michaels is given some time off to recover his actual injuries.

What will happen: Apparently, since I have since watched raw, there’s nothing wrong with Shawn’s knee… Proving that there really is, thus it will give out during the match and Shawn will lose.

Mickie James V. Melina V. Beth Phoenix

What should happen: Melina and Beth should keep screwing each other over, until Mickie lucks into the win, pinning Melina.

What will happen: Melina and Beth Phoenix will reveal it was all a crazy plan on their parts to screw over Mickie, but Melina will “accidentally” get the win, pissing off Phoenix.

Other possible matches:

Matt Hardy V. MVP for the US Title

Hardcore Holly & Cody Rhodes V. Carlito and Santino

Stay tuned, and I’ll update when I know stuff.

IF I WAS IN CHARGE

I was talking to one of my best friends discussing how to “properly” book angles for the WWE.  We were discussing the supposed misuse of certain characters, etc.  I wondered to myself, “What would I do differently?”

So, as a fan, I started questioning what I would truly like to see happen, MIXED with what would really bring money in to the WWE.

So I started thinking about it, and I realized what I would truly like to see happen.

Let’s just start with Judgment Day.

I would make Edge V. Undertaker end with Umaga interfering and costing Taker the title.  This would lead to a non-title feud between Umaga and Taker (of course, this would involve sending Umaga to Smackdown.)  I believe these two could put on some decent matches for bigger guys.

Edge would then begin a feud with Matt Hardy, leading to the Night of Champions Pay Per View in a Champion V. Champion match.  Vickie would put the US Title on the line, but not the World Championship.  At Night of Champions, the Edgeheads would interfere, almost costing Matt the Title, when Jeff would run down and save his brother.  Matt would get the clean win over Edge to retain his title.

On Smackdown, Matt would demand that since he pinned the champion, instead, he is given the chance to earn it the following week on Smackdown in a three on two match, between Edge and the Edgeheads V. The Hardy Boys.  If the Hardys win, Matt gets his number one contendership.  The next week, the match goes down.  It ends with Matt being knocked out by Edge and pinned.  Jeff makes the save.  Jeff tags in and unloads on all of them.  Edge grabs a chair and goes after Matt on the outside of the ring, while Jeff takes out both the Edgeheads in the ring, hits the Swanton and gets the pin.  Edge is pissed he’s lost the match.  Jeff celebrates his win.  Matt gets the contendership.  He’ll face Edge at the Great American Bash for the title.  During that match, Matt almost has the win when the Edgeheads interrupt.  Jeff runs down to make the save with a steel chair.  He “accidentally” hits Matt.  Matt wins by disqualification, but Edge is still champion.

As they reshow it, it seems like Jeff may have hit Matt on purpose.  On Smackdown, Matt calls Jeff out and asks him about it.  Jeff says that he simply made a mistake, but he adds that Matt wouldn’t have even gotten the number one contendership without JEFF making the pin.  Matt shoves Jeff.  Jeff shoves him back.  The two go face to face.  Jeff yells, “What’s your problem?  You already got gold!”  Vickie comes down and makes a match for the US championship between Matt and Jeff for Summerslam–a ladder match.  She also announces there will be a six man elimination match at Summerslam for the right to face Edge for the title.  The loser of the US Title Match will be placed in the elimination match.  At Summerslam, Jeff wins the US Title and Matt is placed in a match with Batista, The Undertaker, Mark Henry, Fit Finlay, and Kane.  The match comes down to Kane and Matt Hardy.  Matt goes to the ropes, but Jeff runs down and knocks him off.  He hits the Twist of Fate on Matt, who gets counted out.  Kane wins the match and goes against Edge.  Edge gets disqualified and keeps his title.

At Unforgiven, Kane gets a rematch, which he loses to Edge, thanks to interference by the Edgeheads.  Matt and Jeff have a rematch for the United States Title.  Matt wins and gets the title back.

On Smackdown, Kane, Matt, and Jeff each claim a right to the number one contendership.  Vickie puts them in a three way match to decide who will face Edge at No Mercy.  Jeff wins.  Matt puts the US Title on the line against Kane.  Kane wins it.  Jeff loses to Edge when Matt interferes.

This leads to a triple threat match for the World Championship at Survivor Series between Matt, Jeff, and Edge.  Matt and Jeff end up taking each other out, and Edge pulls out the win.

This leads to a rematch at Armageddon - Hell In A Cell Style.  Edge takes a large bump off the side of the cage and is stretchered out.  This leaves a fifteen minute hellacious match between Matt and Jeff.  And you know what?  By this point, it doesn’t even matter who wins anymore.  Personally, I’d stick the title on Matt.

There, that’s one storyline.  And it took me less than an hour to write it out and figure out what I’d do with it.  I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with the current writing.  I’m simply saying they need to change it up a little more than they currently do.  Right now, it’s all about Raw.  ECW is rightly a developmental territory of sorts.  But Smackdown is just ignored, and I feel that’s a major crime.  With the switch of one man - Jeff Hardy - to Smackdown, they could cash in with this storyline and have something really good that  would suck up some main event time for the rest of the year.
Of course, that’s just my opinion.  Send me yours if you have one.

Jabroni’s Corner: And here’s to you, Mr. Hellwig…

I was thinking about the Ultimate Warrior the other day.

Don’t worry, it wasn’t in the same way that Ed Leslie or Santa Claus might be thinking about the Ultimate Warrior, but more along the lines of whether or not he could still bring anything to the business today.  As everyone probably knows, Warrior is returning to the ring in NWE (http://nwewrestling.homedns.org/home.php) next month.

Ultimate Warrior has taken an interesting carreer path since leaving the buisness in 1999.   He became a conservative pundit.  He actually started off pretty well; I watched him give an hour long speech on CSPAN a few years ago and was actually impressed.  Unfortunately, his speeches soon turned from fiscal responsibility and limited government to sexual morality and he had an incident at the University of Conneticut that pretty much ended his campus tour. 

From wikipedia: “Warrior officially retired from wrestling in 1999, and has found a new career as a conservative speaker and commentator, denouncing left-wing politics. In one instance, he mentioned that ‘queering doesn’t make the world work’ during a speech at the University of Connecticut. Warrior has explained those comments on his website as meaning that the human race would die out if everyone were a homosexual.”

While you may be able to compare my own politics to that of Michael Savage, you can’t make that comparison between me and his crazy younger brother, Randy*, who is crazier than a shithouse rat.  Ultimate Warrior, on the other hand, is just as right-wing as Michael Savage but also just as looney as Randy Savage.  Just check out his 1996 comic book if you don’t believe me.  To be fair though, if we were rating craziness on a one-to-ten scale, Warrior would be a 5, while the Macho Man Randy Savage would be a six billion gillion quadrillionplexillion.  In laymen’s terms, that means I really hope WWE puts out a “Self Destruction of Randy Savage” DVD soon.

Back to the Warrior, I was really just trying to figure out how he could fit in with the current WWE product, if he were to return.  I can usually fantasy book in my head pretty well, but trying to come up with a story for the Warrior isn’t as easy.  For starters, I was never a fan of his character.  I loved the Honky Tonk Man.  Need I say more?

But now he wants to wrestle Vince McMahon at Wrestlemania XXV.  I don’t think it’s a good idea.  It wouldn’t make any sense.  Vince’s feuds are with either with the guy who he thinks will be the future of the business or with a big-time legend.  I’m sorry to say this, but Ultimate Warrior is not a big-time legend.  Sure, he’s got name value.  His match with Hogan at Wrestlemania VI was great.  His match with Savage at Wrestlemania VII is one of the greatest Wrestlemania matches of all time.  To this day I enjoy his Wrestlemania V match with Rick Rude.  

Three great Wrestlemania matches should be enough to make him a big-time legend, but it’s not.  Here’s why.  Wrestling legends influence wrestlers.  Flair, Race, Hogan, Rhodes, Funk, Hart, Austin, Foley, Michaels, Andre.  Those guys are legends.  They influenced a generation.  They gave us matches that made us fans.  The affect us in our regular lives.  I still let out a “Woooooooo” at least once per day, but I rarely paint my face, talk to my hands and run around shaking things.

Another reason I don’t consider Warrior a big-time legend and worthly McMahon opponent is that he had no shelf-life.  He got over huge early in his WWF career, but after destorying Honky Tonk Man for the Intercontinental title things kind of slowed down for him.  Other than the match where he lost the title to Rick Rude, he had no memorable matches defending that title.  He had no memorable matches defending the WWF World Heavyweight title either.  Other than his match with Savage, his post-champion feuds were not memorable at all.

And I won’t soil this site by mentioning his WCW run.

From all accounts, Warrior was a pain backstage who would refuse to put guys over and often demanded more money at the last minute.  You could say that about a lot of guys, but a lot of those guys made a lot more money for Vince than the Ultimate Warrior.  He was a draw, but just a short term one.  Most of us remember him as an overrated super “good guy” who brought the goods a few times and had one short run with the belt.  Otherwise, he’s just…

(Quick interuption:  I’m listening to PWInsider radio right now and Mike Johnson just made a joke that Jim Cornette has to sleep with a baseball bat in his hands because he’s scared that Bill Watts will come to his house in the middle of the night because of the Eric Young stupidity in TNA.  Hilarious!)

Oh yeah, so Warrior’s just not a “big-time” name.  He’s better than Boris Zukhov, but he’s no Terry Funk.  He has no storyline history with Vince right now and if he just showed up in January and challenged McMahon for Wrestlemania, no one would accept it.  It wouldn’t make any sense.

Now I don’t want my nay-saying to go without some helpful advice.  So, if Ultimate Warrior still wants to wrestle at Wrestlemania XXV, I have an idea that I’m sure WWE management would love.   I know of a certain “King of Kings” who would probably like to get his win back.

And for the record, there has always been one - and only one - Ultimate Warrior.  His name is Jim Hellwig and he legally changed it to “Warrior” in order to retain the rights to the name.  He was the only one.  Except for the first one, who died of steroids.**

Homework assignment until next time:  Find a copy of the Warrior/Savage Wrestlemania VII match.  Good stuff!

 

* I jest.  Randy Savage is actually Michael Savage’s older brother.***

** I jest again.  No Warrior has ever died.  It’s always been Jim.   - http://www.wrestleview.com/info/faq/warrior.shtml

*** Please don’t send me an email telling me that Michael and Randy are not brothers.  You’ll be wrong.  Michael Savage’s real name is Lanny Poffo and he is, in fact, Randy Savage’s brother.****

**** No doubt, you have no idea who Michael Savage even is, and you are wondering if I actually am as crazy as Randy Savage.  In that case, you’d be right.  But I’m not crazy, and Michael Savage isn’t really Randy Savage’s brother.  He’s not related to Lanny Poffo in any way either.  But he still rulz!

 

Santino Arrested for DUI :(

I’m really hoping the E doesn’t suspend Santino and take away the best part of RAW. I wonder if he tried to talk the officer out of the ticket. Knowing Santino he probably told a chubby officer to do the “troffle shoffle” and/or stole the officer’s delicious Subway sandwich (or donut). Here’s the story.

“Mike Johnson of the Pro Wrestling Insider is reporting that Santino Marella was arrested at 2:57 AM EDT this morning and charged with Driving Under the Influence.

According to Johnson, he was driving on Westshore Boulevard in Tampa, Florida when he was pulled over. Marella is currently being held in police custody on $500 bond.

We will post more on this developing story as it become available to us.”

Anyone know how WWE is handling this? They need Santino to give Cody Rhodes a push too - Cody has shown in his 6 seconds of dialogue in the last two RAW episodes that he has mic skills for at least 3 seconds at a time. I’m betting a guy that grew up with Goldust has personality and he could be good.

Ultimate Warrior vs Vince at Wrestlemania 25?

For the last couple of weeks I’ve been exchanging searches for videos of Warrior with guy at work to look up on youtube. This guy is a gold mine. I knew there were crazy promos out there but then I found even stranger stuff like Warrior’s blog (if you have any question as to his sanity read that shiznite). Then after exhausting all searches Warrior surprises us again. He returns to wrestling (NWE). Orlando Jordan provokes Warrior and after Warrior is attacked he starts shaking the ropes. Wild. I couldn’t really get excited though since I obviously have no way to watch NWE. Then Warrior shocks us again. In a recent interview Warrior tells us he wants to wrestle Vince at Wrestlemania 25. Warrior says he wants to “let it out” and instead of being scripted, air out their real opinions of each other. Warrior also calls Batista a bum for jacking his rope-shaking gimmick and said if Warrior was there Batista’s tattoo would jump off his back. Anyways, Warrior has shown me to expect anything now. I’m kind of hoping Vince can shock me now too.

Link to Warrior Interview

Warrior’s Return to the Ring

***UPDATE***

On warriorcentral.net it has been posted that Warrior’s agent let them know a big announcement is coming on Monday, May 25. While I’m guessing it probably has something to do with NWE I’m really hoping this is more towards him facing Vince McMahon at Wrestlemania 25.

http://www.warriorcentral.net/newswire0028.html

Jim Ross wrote this about the proposed match on his blog http://www.jrsbarbq.com/blog/ where you can find out his thoughts on the latest wrestling news and order some chipotle ketchup.

“I read on the vaunted Internet that the Warrior has challenged Mr. McMahon for a bout at WM25 in Houston next year. Certainly a provocative idea, that I seriously doubt would ever come to fruition, but it may be an idea that Dana White might want to explore for aUFC attraction. But as we all saw Monday night, as Monday Night Raw so abruptly went off the air on the USA Network, anything can happen in the WWE. Much like a grotesque car accident, one would have to at least peak at a Mr. McMahon-Warrior encounter.”

SMACKDOWN V. RAW 2009

Wrestlemaniac Review

So I saw this movie at Walmart for ten bucks and that was worth a look. Then I read the plot on the back of the box. A group of amateur porn professionals get stranded in a ghost town rumored to be inhabited by the legendary El Mascarado. The legend tell us that El Mascarado was created from 3 or 4 of the best wrestlers in Mexico in preparation for the 68 Olympics in which the Mexican president wanted to defeat the Soviets. Instead of winning the Olympics, El Mascarado went nuts and started killing people, ripping their faces off after defeat. So the kids get there and they start showing up dead when one of them finds out what they have to do. Yeah, like other horror movies where one of them is a werewolf or vampire expert this group has a Lucha Libre expert - a mexican kid from Seattle. So instead of a silver bullet or stake through the heart, he lets them now they have to remove his mask to defeat him saying “We’ll retire this son of a bitch tonight!” So I was expecting an awesome movie. But I was a little pissed. But not because it was a bad horror movie - I’m not really a horror fan. I was mad as a wrestling fan and to explain why I’ll be writing spoilers.

***Spoilers***

Yeah, so the fat mexican kid from Seattle knows he has to remove the guys mask to defeat him. I thought that was awesome. And earlier in the movie we see this kid has an El Tigre mask he carries around in his pants pocket as I’m sure all chicanos do. So when El Mascarado (played by Rey Mysterio) tracks down the mexican to a dusty, crude wrestling ring made with rope and metal barrels, I was happy as hell to see him pull out the El Tigre mask. What made me even more excited was the folding chairs in the room and random crap like boards and pipes. The problem was the fat kid didn’t use ANY of that stuff. He didn’t even use the barrels. To make things worse El Mascarado didn’t really do any good wrestling either. Just threw the chubby guy around and started stomping on him before he finally climbed a barrel to do a weak frog splash if you can call it that. And El mascarado’s lack of a moveset was another thing that upset me. El Mascarado was supposed to be made using the best wrestlers in Mexico. Well if anyone knows about the history of lucha libre you know that the good wrestlers actually use exciting wrestling moves. The people that don’t do shit but clothelines, leg drops, and use dirty tactics are heels south of the border (it makes sense to me too). Yet this legendary wrestler made the Great Khali look like Ultimo Dragon. So yeah, to make a long story short there wasn’t one chair shot and the legendary wrestler had the same skills I think Bill Murray would have. At the end we see him using the porn van to drive somewhere else so it’s open for a sequel. I hope in the sequel I can see at least one lethal hurricanrana and a worthy adversary that won’t try attacking El Mascarado’s strengths. This movie could be awesome. Actually it was awesome (you wouldn’t know with all that whining right?) but with these improvements it could go above Touch of Evil and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest on my list of all time greats.

All Hail King Regal

While most people I know are pretty upset at Regal winning the tournament I loved it. The only thing I was disappointed with was the lack of brass knucks. Now if you have read stuff I’ve wrote on here earlier you know I think Santino is one of the best things RAW has going (you see him tell Cody Rhodes that Holly was his boyfried on RAW?). And I have made the comment before that I want to see Regal and Tajiri face Santino and Carlito to see who the best international tag team is. Well after reports that Tajiri was at the WWE shows in England I’m really hoping this is a possibility. Think about it - Carlito starts chewing on his apple in front of King Regal and Tajiri and *PFFFFFFFFT* Tajiri beats him to it with the poison mist! This needs to happen (I know I already said that in the last post but whatever, I’m in a hopeful mood).  You know what?  I made this post about Regal have more to do with Tajiri.  Now here’s a video that made me tear up like a girl with a skinned knee.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Grrtk9PX0jI&feature=related

Human Tornado to WWE?

No, there is no rumor that Human Tornado is going to the E. This is wishful thinking. After reading the reports that the WWE is upset that they are losing their black audience I became more hopeful that this might happen though. For those of you that don’t know who the crap I’m talking about, you should imagine a much younger and cooler Norman Smiley, with some great in ring skills, who isn’t afraid to be a self-abusing high flyer. While I think he would be a great addition to WWE I wouldn’t mind at all if TNA snatched him up. Could you imagine him facing Curry Man or being his tag partner (ok, it might be overkill)? They need to make this shit happen! Here are some youtube clips I snatched from Allhiphop.com’s Off the Turnbuckle forum. There are plenty more on youtube and they are fun to watch for the most part.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpgmGUkEWzM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnVxwHMpDnI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmWZ27FDJb0

bonus clip: Human Tornado as El Negro - his opponent - Kool Aid. seriously.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=5HH8CzaCJr8

CHUCK LIDDELL Injured and Forced to Withdraw From UFC 85

I know I don’t normally post this sort of stuff on here, but DAMN!  That looks painful!

SOURCE:  UFC

CHUCK LIDDELL INJURED; FORCED TO WITHDRAW FROM UFC® 85

The Ultimate Fighting Championship® (UFC®) organisation announced today that Chuck Liddell has been forced to withdraw from the UFC 85 event. Liddell tore his hamstring last week while training for his June 7 bout with undefeated light heavyweight Rashad Evans.

“Unfortunately, Chuck Liddell tore his right hamstring during training last week, and being the warrior that he is, he still wanted to fight, which is the reason why everyone in the world loves him,” said Dana White, UFC President. “But I wouldn’t let anyone fight with his leg looking that way. Let him heal and come back and fight when he is 100 percent.”

KING OF THE RING - LIVE RESULTS

Here we go with live updates. This is not going to happen on a normal weekly basis. This is JUST for the KOR.

The brackets are still not being shown, and we’re off and running.

MATCH ONE: Y2J V. MVP

We start off with Y2J, Chris Jericho, V. MVP. I can’t say that I honestly believe either of these two are going all the way, but it’s alright. I mean, they both have TITLES - Intercontinental and United States Championship.

These two are actually putting on a decent match thus far. MVP actually looks like he deserves to be in this one. The false finishes are going well, and MVP is coming off as very athletic — one of his strengths that usually gets overlooked.

They just pointed out MVP has had the US Championship for 11 months.

MVP went for a gorilla press slam and then hit the rope. I thought the Warrior had returned.

MVP went for his finisher, but literally just stands there, waiting and looking around like an idiot, rather than hitting it. Y2J reverses and slaps on the WALLS OF JERICHO for the win.

JERICHO ADVANCES.

Jericho goes to sit on the KOR throne. We go to commercial with “CM Punk is up next.”

MATCH TWO: CM PUNK V. MATT HARDY

Again, CM Punk doesn’t need this. He’s got money in the bank. Matt is involved in his feud with MVP, but I wouldn’t mind seeing him as KOR, as long as a heel turn is involved.

Did everyone kick up their game tonight? This has been going well. I am against the whole hidden bracket thing, but I do like that they’re passing it off as “The competitors don’t know who they’re facing. They don’t know who else is even in the tournament.” The energy is incredible tonight. I’m really loving this.

KING: “You ever win a King of the Ring tournament, JR? Oh, well your wife said you spend a lot of time on the throne.” Good lord.

Matt Hardy hits the top rope and takes out Punk. More false finishes. It’s making them really come across psychologically as everyone believing they have several matches left tonight and need to conserve energy. Punk hits the top rope, but Hardy catches him for the Side Effect.

2 Count.

He goes for Twist of Fate, Punk reverses. Hardy stops him and ends up on the floor. In the only crappy move of the match, Punk misses Hardy’s legs. He finally gets them for the win, but it would have been much more impressive if he had grabbed them to begin with.

WINNER: CM PUNK

Punk also goes to sit on the throne after the match. Punk and Jericho will face off in the second round. We go to commercial with JR wondering who the other four men could possibly be. My calls include: John Morrison, Santino, and Mr. Kennedy Kennedy.

SIDE NOTES: Am I the only one completely annoyed with the political push? Clinton, Obama, and McCain can go away… That’s just me. If we were back to the “Smackdown Your Vote” campaign, sure, but so far, that’s not happening… so I just don’t get it. Then, they made Hillary V Obama on Smackdown V Raw 2008. Obama comes out to Batista’s entrance, and Hillary gets Mickie James’. If you ask me, they made a very clear comment on who will be the winner of that one.

BACKLASH UPDATE: The Fatal Four Way between JBL, Orton, HHH, and Cena is now an elimination match.

MATCH THREE: THE GREAT KHALI V.

Well, shit, I didn’t see that coming! Khali goes to sit in the throne before the match starts. And we go back to commercial with no word as to who he’s facing.

And we’re back.

MATCH THREE (For real this time) THE GREAT KHALI V. FIT FINLAY (Anyone else expecting a Big Show run in?)

Hornswoggle is along with Finlay. Khali is so far just whipping Finlay’s ass. Hornswoggle got involved, and Khali chased him out. Now Khali has Finlay wrapped around the ring post, and he’s just destroying Finlay’s leg. Khali has been Disqualified.

WINNER: FIT FINLAY.

And the Big Show has arrived. Show and Khali stare each other down and leave. King: “Is a giant afraid of a giant?” We go to commercial

SIDE NOTE: If I had to call it right now, I would say Kennedy is winning. He shows up as the last competitor and Finlay is out of the contest. Kennedy would get a bi to the finals. I hate it when they do it, but damn does it draw heat. So, if I was writing (And King John wasn’t winning), it would be Y2J and Kennedy in the finals, leading a feud over the IC Title… but I’m weird like that and like to write things that would make some sort of sense.

AND WE’RE BACK: Finlay is limping and being helped out.

HOLY SHIT. William Regal is in this match! KING REGAL??? Hmmmmmmm. Then we’d need

MATCH FOUR: William Regal V. HORNSWOGGLE.

OH SHIT.

I see only bad things coming of this. King Swoggle is the only answer now.

NO! He’s already tapped out!

William Regal moves on!

Finlay is laid out. Hornswoggle is gone. Finlay limps to the ring, and Regal kicks out his leg.

SECOND ROUND: JERICHO V. CM PUNK and FINLAY V. REGAL The only way that Regal isn’t winning is if someone else takes Finlay’s place. Of course, I’ve been wrong like 9 times already while doing this live update thing.

Shawn Michaels is in the back. And we go to commercial.

SIDE NOTES: This is perfect. It’s not who I expected, but I love it. They managed to leave Regal face until after the London tour. If he’s King, he’s back to wrestling, which leaves a “job position” open for RIC FLAIR. Also, I couldn’t help but notice that after Khali, no one has gone to sit in the throne. I thought that was a cool little thing they were doing with that. Granted, Finlay didn’t have time to get up to it before Regal attacked Horny, but still. Regal didn’t do it after his win. He just left looking evil.

ANOTHER SIDE NOTE: Regal took out Finlay’s knee. This is just great storytelling in my opinion. He went after an injury that existed, but hadn’t existed before Finlay’s match. Taking out a knee is a great way to draw massive heel heat. Just ask Owen Hart.

We’re back with a montage of the trip around europe. God it would be cool to go to a show with that much energy.

NON KOR RAW UPDATE: Shawn Michaels comes out to his Pyro. We must be leaving the tournament for a bit to push his match with Batista. He asks Batista to come out so they can talk. We wait as Shawn waits for an answer. Finally Batista’s music hits and the Animal arrives in blue jeans and a white tank top. His timing is off for his entrance today. Shawn asks if it’s true that Batista’s problem is that he wanted to be the one to end Flair’s career. Batista says, “Would it make you feel better if I said yes — absolve you of the blame?” He says he can’t do that, but that it’s not about any of that anymore. This is now about them. He says he doesn’t like how Shawn got to the top of the business. He says, “You can point your finger all you want, but the fact is, at Backlash, I’m going to finish this.” Shawn says he has a confession, “I’m everything you say I am.” He calls himself ‘THE MAN.” Is that a reference to being the man because he beat the man? Batista throws down the mic and leaves.

And just like that, I’ve survived my first hour of live play by play.

And we get Hillary’s big promo.

MATCH THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH KOR: CARLITO V. HARDCORE HOLLY.

Your winner: Carlito

Santino just said, “Hardcore Holly and his boy who is a friend, which makes him a boyfriend!”

Cody actually got funny — for a second, anyway. He cracks Santino with the mic.

We will get CM Punk V. Y2J up next. Commercial break in the mean time.

Holy Crap, Jackroller, a Narnia preview for Prince Caspian. We should totally go!

MATCH FIVE (only keeping track of tourney matches)

JERICHO V. CM PUNK

Jericho and Punk start this match out with some basic psychology, attacking specific body parts. They’re making a big deal out of whether or not Finlay will be able to compete. Good lord. A ton of false finishes. Jericho looked like he had it there for a second.

THAT WAS SWEET. Jericho goes for the Walls. Punk puts his feet up. Jericho catches them and turns it into the Walls of Jericho. Punk gets to the ropes. Jericho goes to the top, but Punk hits an ensiguri. Punk hits the Go To Sleep.

Winner: CM PUNK

MATCH SIX: FINLAY V. REGAL

Finlay is here, but they’re playing up the knee.

So Regal advances to the finals, but he did it choking out Finlay. He played up the knee, but in the end, he choked him out. I’m so confused.

FINALS: REGAL V. CM PUNK

I really think it’s gotta be Regal. We’ll see.

A bunch of nothing has taken place. They’re decorating the ring for Obama V. Hillary. I’m scared. I really hope it turns out to be JTG V. Beth Phoenix… Oh, was that inappropriate?

Dear God… here we go.

NO! I WILL NOT COVER THIS. THIS IS MAKING ME WANT TO BREAK THINGS. I’ll be back after this crap to tell you about the rest of the tournament.

Suffice it to say Umaga killed them both.

Now, Ashley, Maria, Kelly Kelly, Michelle McCool, and Cherry are in the ring. Apparently they are here to congratulate Mickie James on her title win last week. DAMN MICKIE IS HOT. But apparently she can no longer cut promos… Beth Phoenix, Melina, Maryse, Victoria, Jillian Hall, and some others all hit the ring. All Diva Hell breaks loose. The good girls win. The others leave. Commercial time… God, I can’t believe people do actual play by play.

THE FINALS: REGAL V. CM PUNK

I’m excited. I hope Regal uses the Power of the Punch.

After a pretty decent match, Regal wins with the Regal Stretch!
My thoughts: This was the perfect way to gain true heel heat. First, he took out an unsuspecting World’s Sexiest Midget. Then, he took out an injured man, and CHOKED HIM OUT. But the best part is that he won the main event without cheating — thus, he’s over as a heel, and at the same time, he backed it up at the end! Many people are going to be PISSED about this, but I love it. I think they finally did something right.

I suppose I’ll cover the rest of Raw. I’m really never doing this again.

Randy Orton, JBL, Chavo, and Edge V. Cena, Undertaker, Kane, and HHH

The heels are in the ring. We go to commercial.

We come back and the faces make their way down. Individual entrances are a great way to eat up 12 minutes worth of time.

Damn it. I had a phone call. Anyway, more or less, The Undertaker whipped the crap out of everyone on the other team, laying them all out. We go to commercial.

We’re back and I’m sure we’ll be heading into finisher city here any minute.  Cena and Orton knock each other out.  Who will get to their corner first?  Orton, of course, tagging JBL.  Cena gets to Kane.  Kane is laying everyone out.  He takes out everyone around the ring.  He hits a GIANT sidewalk slam on Chavo and goes to the top.  He NAILS a huge move off the ropes.  Everyone hits the ring.  Chavo takes out Kane in the mayhem and goes up top, but gets caught for a chokeslam.  Spear by Edge for the WIN!

WINNER:  EDGE!!!!

Edge turns into an FU.  Trips goes after Cena trying for the pedigree.  Orton RKOs Cena.  Orton goes face to face with JBL.  Taker appears out of nowhere and double chokeslams them as we go off the air!

All in all, I enjoyed Raw tonight, other than the Obama/Hillary crap and the Carlito/Hardcore match.   I love the fact that it was almost impossible to call the tournament for once.  I’m also glad that they had such a great story to go with it.  They managed to turn him heel and still make him seem like he deserved it in the end.  It was great.  I won’t say it was the best Raw I’ve ever seen, by any means, but I really enjoyed it.

THE ROCK ON VOYAGER

So, I’ve been tivoing Star Trek: Voyager.  I had no clue The Rock was ever on the show.  He even hits a few signature moves.  Check it out!

THE GREATEST FEUD OF ALL TIME?

AUSTIN – MCMAHON: THE GREATEST FEUD OF ALL TIME?

Get ready for my longest column ever.

This one was way too long for the main page…

CLICK FOR MORE

NEW X-DIVISION CHAMPION

I’m excited.  Hopefully that didn’t ruin it too much for those who don’t want spoilers…

THE KING OF THE RING

So they announced today that the King of the Ring will officially return next week on Raw.

Who will win?

What are you thoughts?

And yes, this is so much more fun BEFORE you know who will be a participant. Make your case for greatness right now. Com’n, Jackroller. Tell me why Santino will soon be King.

For myself, I see only two possibilities. One, you’ll see coming from a mile away, the other is my dark horse candidate.

JOHN MORRISON - Morrison deserves this. He could totally be the dickhead King that BookAH tried to be. I think a heel is the only way to go. Morrison is pretty over as a heel, and he’s a fabulous worker. More importantly, I think it’s a great way to ditch the Morrison bullshit. He could just be KING JOHN. This would elevate him to another level and kill off this stupid gimmick, which is honestly the only thing holding him back. I think he would be King of the Ring on a level matched previously only by the King of Harts, Owen Hart.

My Dark Horse Candidate: LANCE CADE

I know none of you believe me this second, but Lance has a ton of potential. They’re teasing a breakup of the team tonight anyway, so why not?

It’s better than that bullshit they wanted to do a while back where he would become the new Shawn Michaels. Yeah, they were HONESTLY going to call him “H-B-Cade.”

I don’t write this shit, so don’t blame me.

AN OPEN LETTER TO VINCE MCMAHON

Dear Vincent Kennedy McMahon:

Apologies are in order.  I owe you one gigantic I’M SORRY.  Let me explain why:

A lot of the time, when I post on this site, I tag things ridiculously, because it’s funny to me.

I do these things solely for my own entertainment.

But it’s funny, because it’s what brings in a lot of the hits we get on this site–whether it’s from my tagging or Jackroller’s or even the occasional tag by Jabroni.  The thing is, WordPress allows us to see what people searched in order to come to the site.  It gives a detailed list of what someone typed into the search engine that led them to coming to our blog and reading our thoughts.

For some odd reason, the number one thing that brings people to this site is not our PPV predictions or are witty banter, it’s fucking Hornswoggle.  EVERY SINGLE DAY, someone searches for a “Hornswoggle Biography” and happens across the article I posted for St. Pat’s day.  Today, someone actually found our site thanks to the tag “World’s Sexiest Midget.”  I almost fell out of my chair laughing.

But it proved a little something to me.  I don’t know everything.

When Little Bastard started popping out from under the ring and attacking people, I was annoyed.

When he began Leprachaun Bombs off of step stools, I giggled, but I wasn’t a fan.

The best moment of Wrestlemania 23 was that I thought Horny was dead when he took Kennedy’s move off the ladder.

Making him the last Cruiserweight Champion was a joke.

The first time I ever liked him was the night he was revealed to be “your son.”  I don’t think I’ve ever laughed that hard at something in wrestling that didn’t involve a milk truck, but I digress.

I was FURIOUS the day your writers thought it would be a good idea to have Hornswoggle imitate the road runner by drawing a damned tunnel through the wall and escaping Carlito.

I couldn’t believe you built a match at Mania 24 around the “injuries” he sustained at the hands of JBL.

I’ll tell you, Vince, Dylan Postl was NOT my favorite wrestler.  I would say things like, “Who the hell wants to watch this shit?”  Or “Does Vince really think we like this crap?”  Or even “Too bad he’s not like a real Leprachaun.  He could grant my wish and go away.”

But now, sir, I apologize.

I have seen the errors of my way.

I see that I don’t know everything.

You really apparently do know what the fans want more than I ever will.  You saw the brilliance of Khali before I converted and you cashed in on a little bastard.

Well, you’ve proven yourself, Vince.  You have your pot of gold from this one.  I commend you.  I’d like to tell you that you’re insane, but the hits prove otherwise.

So, Vince, I’m sorry.

James Sabata

PS You still owe me royalties for my idea of hooking up Kane with the Hurricane.  I’m never going to let this go.

ALL THE REASONS SCOTT STEINER SHOULD BE THE NEXT TNA CHAMPION:

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So Pro Wrestling Sucks?

I think part of the reason I wrote about how much I enjoyed Lockdown was my experience watching it. I watched it with several people and I think I was one of the few enjoying it. Everyone else had to talk about how much it sucked. Curry man is wack. This MMA shit is stupid. Super Eric is retarded. Several people said NOTHING positive the whole time. Now I’ve done my fair share of whining about the current state of things and yes, I am one of those people that has bitched in the past about how things aren’t as great as the attitude era but shit. If you don’t like it, stop watching. Stop watching, write some letters, make a youtube video - whatever. But whatever you do - DON’T watch every show, every PPV (I know it’s cool to not pay and whine about a free show but everyone that paid thinks you’re an asshole - seriously) and say shit like how much more you like Japanese wrestling. I mean I think this is the only form of entertainment where people tune in knowing they won’t like it. I mean do people that hate TRL watch it every day? Do people buy CD’s of music they can’t stand? Do people tivo shit they don’t want to watch? Do they go to 10,000 BC three times in a row because of how crappy it is? Hell no. So face it. You like wrestling. I know it’s cool on the internet to act like you don’t but you obviously do. That’s right, you people that choose to watch wrestling instead of the million other things you could be doing, actually like it. How do I know? You assholes that pissed and moaned the whole time during Lockdown said “See you at Backlash” when it was over.

video of a guy even more pissed than I am.

TNA Lockdown

Show wasn’t bad. Although some may be justified in complaining that the cage wasn’t used much in all the matches this was fun to watch.

Xscape Match: Awesome. Lethal, Divine and Curry Man were last guys left with Sonjay lurking outside of the cage. Curry Man was hot and spicy as always hitting a moonsault of the top of the cage onto the two. He then hit a spice rack on Lethal and was about to get a pin fall when Divine kicked him in the head. After defeating Curry man he tied Lethal to the ropes and went for the door of the cage. Sonjay keeps the door shut to make Divine climb and throws Lethal a knife. Lethal cuts himself loose with Divine on top of the cage and Lethal FLIES out of the door for the win. I guess Sonjay was trying to make up for porking Socal Val on Lethal’s dime.

The Queen of the Cage Match: People ask what TNA can do to compete with WWE. The knockouts are one area where TNA has no competition. Angelina Love was first to get in the cage followed by Roxxy. Roxxy hits the Voodoo drop for the win. That move looks serious. I love it. She now has a shot at the belt.

B.G. James vs Kip James: I really didn’t care about this match much. I shouldn’t be allowed to write about it. Anyways, it ends when B.G. reverses a splash to rollup Kip for the win. He helps Kip up only to get clotheslined and left in the ring. This might mean we have to watch more interviews of them outdoors talking about how much they used to cuddle.

Cuffed in the Cage: Lots of good tag team action. Unfortunately though, Kaz was at a disadvantage as Eric Young was assaulted before the match and couldn’t make it for the beginning. He later came out and was scared away by Rellik and Black Reign. Fortunately for Kaz, after Eric left, Super Eric returned after Kaz was cuffed. After Super Eric landed a cross body block from the top of the cage on the remaining competitors that included his arch-enemies Black Reign and Rellik (he didn’t sneak up there, they must have been confused about him coming out to his music and pyro and in their bewilderment not noticed him climbing the cage). After that it was all over. Super Eric cuffs the rest.

Gail Kim and ODB vs Awesome Kong and Raisha Saeed: Again, the knockouts are much more fun to watch than the Divas. Gail Kim took a lot of punishment throughout the match but got back into things when she did a hurricanrana on Saeed from above the top rope! Saeed seemed to pop up much sooner than you would think but ODB got a much needed tag and did a splash on Saeed from outside of the ring for the win.

Mixed Tag Team Match: Booker was beating Bob pretty badly until the end when Booker ended up laid out with Sharmell being held by Roode. Peyton went to slap Sharmell and hit Roode instead and Sharmell took advantage to roll up Peyton for the win. Roode looked like he was going to hit Peyton and left her in the ring instead.

Team Cage vs Team Tomko: Great match. Tomko looks like he’s about to enter against Cage to begin the match and AJ jumps from the top of the cage to start the match. Lots of great action in this one and I have to admit I was nervous when AJ and Christian started battling on a ladder on top of the cage. They ended up landing on a table on top of the cage instead of the ground or into the ring when pushed by Storm . And with everyone down for the count Rhino hit a gore on Storm for the win.

Kurt Angle vs Samoa Joe: While the MMA type of fighting is something I might not want to see happen all the time I give TNA credit for trying something different. That kind of thing is what we need. Anyways, after kicking out of an Olympic Slam, Samoa Joe superkicked Angle to set up a Muscle Buster for the win. The crowd was jacked. I have to admit I was too even though we knew Joe was going to win. Here’s another way TNA wins over the competition. The fans love who just won the belt. Silly idea, I know.

So yeah, all in all not a bad PPV, but it was a little strange that a show done entirely in a cage didn’t use the cage for every match. My complaints are pretty much limited to that though. WWE would have to get things in gear for Backlash to be better.

Is Santino the Future?

This is Santino letting Maria know that the WWE Divas “should be at home - looking pretty, walking around, making pasta, making babies.” This was after he called the Divas the lowest form of sports entertainment. This was after Santino said being involved with the Divas was demeaning and that he should have been in the Money in the Bank Match or the “Royal Battle.” I couldn’t agree more. There have been many times over the last few months that a Santino appearance has been the best part of the night. I’m not saying this to make a case for RAW being terrible during that time. That would make me a jackass because I watch it every week. I mean only a jackass would watch something every week and then say it sucks right? Anyways, what I’m saying is that they need to learn use people like Santino to make RAW better. If Santino can be entertaining when he’s trying to push Maria and the Divas, and do so by saying what most fans think about them, he can certainly be more entertaining higher on the card. I’m not saying they should use him more - just differently. Have him feud with main eventers. He just might make a Randy Orton feud entertaining. I mean seriously, for guys like Orton that can only play straight man that’s all they have to do against Santino’s ridiculous wisecracks. How great would it be for Santino to beat a guy like Orton? He’s a heel. He can win these matches. And he can fight heel or face because he has the personality, in my opinion, to be a tweener. And if they want to keep using him to push the Divas they can let Beth Phoenix or Melina help him win. The more I think about this the more I think it needs to be done. And I have the evidence to prove it. I heard from Taz, who heard from Joey Numbers, that “Santino steals Jerry’s Delicious Sandwich” was the number one search on Youtube.

ps. I was serious about Santino being able to carry someone without personality. Here he is talking to Snoop who he called “Snoopy the Doooogg with his brain-damawjed Charl-ie-Browwwn.” If he can carry Festus like that, then Orton has hope!

pps. I think Santino may have something here when he says Maria should be at home making pasta and babies. She kind of reminds me of Giada from the Food Network on that show “Everyday Italian.”

Book Review: Chris Jericho’s “A Lion’s Tale: Around The World In Spandex”

Jericho, Chris. A Lion’s Tale: Around the World in Spandex. Lebanon, IN: Grand Central Publishing, 2007.

A Lion’s Tale: Around the World in Spandex is a great book. Divided into fifty-five chapters, it tells the story of Jericho’s career wrestling in several countries, including Japan, Canada, Germany, Mexico, and various wresting promotions in the United States, such as WWE/F, WCW, ECW, and Smokey Mountain Wrestling. I’m not going to go into great detail here, because I think it would really spoil a fabulous book, but here are some of the highlights:

In the author’s note, Jericho says that this book was written before the Chris Benoit Tragedy, and that it is only about his life before the year 2000. As such, it only reflects on the Benoit that Jericho knew up to that point. If you want to know his thoughts on the Benoit tragedy, you have to buy the sequel. (Way to sell a book you haven’t written yet. I’m impressed.)

We start with his childhood in Manitoba, Canada, and get a feeling of how he became obsessed with wresting. Then it’s off to the Dungeon (The Hart Brothers’ Wrestling Camp) to learn to be one of the best in the business. Jericho has good and bad things to say about his time in the Dungeon, but does make it clear that he’s who he is today because of it. He also expressed disappointment that the Hart Brothers weren’t really there. Keith Hart made an appearance the first day and gave the students a speech, but other than that, Jericho never saw any of them while he was there. He says he was later able to get Stu Hart as an instructor, but his first experience in wrestling school was really no different than it would have been anywhere else.

We’re off to Mexico, where Jericho wrestled as “Corozon de Leon” or “Lion Heart” in Spanish. He quickly became friends with two other guys in the promotion, Los Gringos Locos – Art Barr and Eddy Guerrero. Jericho relates the first time he met Eddy in a hotel room. Eddy was drunk off his ass and was being rude to Jericho, and making fun of him. He asked him who he was. Jericho replied, “Corozon de Leon. It means ‘Lion Heart’ in Spanish.” Eddy yelled, “I’m Mexican! I know what it means!” Jericho has a tendency to say stupid things whenever he meets wrestlers more famous than himself, apparently. (Don’t work, Y2J, I’m sure I’d say something way more stupid than that.)

Jericho then relates his time in Germany. He met Fit Finlay while working there. Finlay was working for a competing company. He came up to Jericho, and introduced himself and then asked Jericho to deliver a message for him. He wanted Jericho to go back to his own company and tell them they were a “bunch of cunts”.

He covers Japan next. I don’t even know how to tell you about this part without ruining the book. Just go out and read it. This section is great stuff.

There isn’t a whole lot on ECW. Jericho seems to have really loved his time there, but it was a short amount of time, so there isn’t a whole lot to say. His tales of Heyman’s amazing ability to lie to peoples faces are hilarious.

WCW is next. This is probably the most interesting section to me, because it is where I was truly introduced to Jericho, so it’s what I remember most clearly. He’ll tell you all about the backstage crap, especially his real life feud with Goldberg. But my absolute favorite part is his section on going to Vince McMahon’s mansion for contract negotiations to jump ship to the WWE.

And just like that, the countdown to the Y2J problem began. Too bad we have to wait for part two to read about it!

This book is fabulous. It’s filled with hilarious stories. It’s also got some tearful parts – The deaths of Owen Hart and Art Barr, even how his mother was paralyzed. However, this is a highly energetic, fun read that I literally could not put down.

I also really liked the fact that he didn’t throw a lot of personal shots out there. He had problems with guys like Goldberg and Bischoff, but he was able to still compliment them on what he thought they had done right. I was impressed to learn that his arch-nemesis is Vampiro, who apparently tried to sabotage Jericho’s career at several points in time. Vampiro is about the only person Jericho is truly rude to in this book.

OVERALL RATING: 10/10. It simply doesn’t get much better than this book. Only the sequel might compete. I’ll be here to review it as soon as it’s out.

Jabroni’s Corner: TNA House Show Report from Lincoln, NE

Hi there fellow jabronis. Last week, TNA Wrestling made a stop in my “home away from home”, Lincoln. I knew right away we’d have a good time because we managed to meet one of the TNA stars at the bar before the show.  I’ll have more on that later, though. On to the show…

TNA’s debut in Lincoln, NE took place at the Pershing Center. The center can hold about 7,000 people and I’d esitmate that there were about a thousand. It looked empty, but if you think about it, 1000 people isn’t that small of a crowd. I don’t think any other promotions outside of WWE can draw that many to a show, so hopefully TNA wasn’t too disappointed with the size of the crowd and will return to Lincoln. Our seats were very close; maybe fifteen rows back, and it was very cool seeing the six-sided ring up close.

Jeremy Borash served as the ring-announcer/hype-guy for the night. He did a pretty good job at it, but I would have liked to see him run around in circles yelling like the Wrestling Society X guy used to. A really nice touch about Borash is that he would announce each match with the old standard “This match is scheduled for one fall with a 20-minute time limit” and announce each wrestler’s weight and home town. I still like it when they at least try to make it seem like a sporting event. Remember: Jabroni’s Corner Rule # 1 of Entertaining Professional Wrestling: “Fake Sport” is better than “Bad Soap Opera.”

Match # 1: Curry Man vs. Sonjay Dutt. This was a great way to open the show. I’ve never like Sonjay Dutt, and I wish Christopher Daniels would drop the Curry Man gimmick, but they really managed to entertain. Dutt played the heel in this match and did a great job. He grew the obligatory facial hair and used a lot of old school heel tactics. While I’m not a fan of the Curry Man gimmick, he got the crowd into the match. Curry Man is also a testimony of how great Christopher Daniels is, since it’s a completely different character and move-set than his other character. And the mask covers up his gigantic head, which is always a good thing. Curry Man won the match with the “Spice Rack.”

Match # 2: ODB vs. Gail Kim in a “number one contender” match. For reasons unknown, the woman with the hardest name in wrestling to spell, Jacqueline, inserted herself into the match. ODB was really over here, but I have to confess, I’m not on the ODB bandwagon. She just reminds me of G.L.O.W. Gail Kim pinned Jacqueline to win the match.

Match # 3: Kip James vs. BG James w/ “Bad Ass” Joel. “The New Age Outlaws Explode!!” So here’s the fun part. We were at a nearby bar before the show. Some guy and his wife were there taking shots. A local radio promotion had a contest for to find a fan to be a “manager” for on of the matches. And sure enough, the guy sitting at the bar taking shots was the man who would become “Bad Ass” Joel. We chatted for a little bit, and then he and his wife stumbled on to the show. He got to say something on the mic (I don’t remember what) before the match started. I knew I should have entered that contest. The match was so-so, with BG James pinning Kip while grabbing his tights.

Match # 4: James Storm vs. Rhino. This was match of the night. Storm gave a good heel promo before the match, pointing out the fat chicks in the crowd and complaining how he can’t find a girl in Lincoln in that weighs less than 200 lbs. He earned a “Brokeback Mountain” chant in return. Rhino played a good face and won the match with the gore.

Match # 5: Samoa Joe and Jay Lethal vs. AJ Styles and Tomko. I like Joe, Styles, and Tomko. Lethal is a great worker, but man I hate the Macho Man gimmick on him. Tomko is huge up close. Samoa Joe is huge, but in a different way. Everyone worked pretty stiff, and the finish saw Styles pin Lethal with a spring board splash.

Match # 6: Booker T vs. Robert Rude. A “Bobby sucks!” chant caused Robert Rude to do the “I will leave this building” bit. Booker T got a good babyface reaction and Rude played an incredible heel. Match ended with Booker T doing his normal finishing move-set to win the match. These guys, along with Samoa Joe and AJ Styles should be fighting for the TNA title (which is currently held hostage by part-time wrester, Kurt Angle.)

After the show, Booker T stayed in the ring for a $20.00 autograph signing. Other wrestlers signed autographs for free at ringside.

Other thoughts: TNA is definitely a fan-friendly company. I would highly recommend attending a house show if they show up in your area. You’ll get great seats for a reasonably price. Everyone worked hard and the audience was live. My only complaint is that in TNA, the top guys are not full time wrestlers (Kurt Angle, Sting, Christian Cage.)

This week’s homework assignment: Post an idea about how TNA could become a better wrestling company. And try to keep it positive.

It’s still real to me dammit!

http://allhiphop.com/forums/thread/19632977.aspx

This is a link to a thread by a poster calling himself Moe Greene on Allhiphop.com. Some of you may know him as the Vegas casino dude in the Godfather. Allhiphop posters know him as the guy that thinks wrestling is real. This poster has a great gimmick going on and this thread that states Undertaker would beat Chuck Liddell in an MMA fight pissed off people that think Moe is for real. Allhiphop’s forum called “Off the Turnbuckle” has other threads started by him as well which are always a great read. And for those of you that don’t get the thread title here’s a link to the classic video of THE hardcore fan.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=BvTNyKIGXiI

CONCUSSIONS NOW A PART OF THE WWE WELLNESS PROGRAM!

Here’s the official statement form the Sports Legacy Institute:

WWE STEPS UP TO THE PLATE

Chris Nowinski has heard from anonymous professional wrestlers in World Wrestling Entertainment that WWE management has instituted a concussion management program. At a mandatory meeting for all performers in early March WWE performers took a computerized neuropsychological testing protocol, which evaluates such things as memory, cognitive skills, and reaction time. They will be re-tested aggressively every 6 months to look for long term issues, as well as re-tested after suspected concussions to help determine when it is safe to return to in-ring action. Nowinski heard conflicting reports of whether or not any concussion education was provided along with the baseline testing. One current wrestler told Chris that if it wasn’t for recent concussion awareness efforts by organizations like the SLI, he still wouldn’t know what a concussion is or why he took the test.

Congratulations to WWE for taking a proactive step in protecting the health of their athletes. The Sports Legacy Institute is proud that the analysis they performed on the late WWE performer Chris Benoit’s brain, which found extensive brain damage caused by concussions and other head trauma, directly led to this action. SLI believes efforts like these will help prevent events similar to the Benoit family tragedy of 2007 from happening in the future.

Upon hearing the news, Chris Benoit’s father Michael Benoit said, “I think it’s great. I think the industry has to embrace the medical science. If they don’t take actions like this, they just care about the talent.” SLI encourages other sports leagues to take similar measures to protect athletes, especially youth athletes, and is available at sportslegacy.org to help make it a reality.